dreams

Posted in 1 on July 17, 2009 by fatesawfit

long time no see

Posted in 1 on February 4, 2009 by fatesawfit

hm seems I never shine here any more.  I’ve been busy….neglectful almost of all that keep me.  I’ve gone to dark places, deep ones, with wide and crazy chasms that have occupied my time.  

the light has shone again and some where some how i’m still breathing. and guess what?  I like today.

i promise to blog more………if you can find it that is…….amongst the four spaces i spread every part of me.

crawling out

Posted in 1 on October 7, 2008 by fatesawfit

well the light of day has managed to find me yet again. I’m still tired.  Does that ever change when you’re a mom?  Do you ever wake up to the laundry being done, and put away, and the house picked up and feel rested?  Or do you constantly go from one thing to the next, lost in an eternal vortex of duties, obligations and chores.

I resurfaced to the world to find that nothing had changed.  it’s all still the same stuff as yesterday.  just maybe sadder than before.  

tomorrow we have two therapy appointments back to back.  that’s a first for us.  hopefully it will go well.

Protected: hiding

Posted in 1 on October 2, 2008 by fatesawfit

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moments

Posted in 1 on October 1, 2008 by fatesawfit

three little monkeys jumping on the bed.  One fell off, and the others quickly followed.  For little girls that fight so much they also fight to stay together, to take care of one another.

I’ve always tormented myself as to whether I’m making the right choices, and if someone else were making them what would they decide. if there’s an alternate universe out there how is it going and what the hell are they doing. Because late at night when it’s only me, I worry about whether i’m right or wrong.  Whether she’ll understand, whether they all will.  

The therapies get overwhelming sometimes and it feels like all we do is work work work.  I get so caught up in making sure she gets things done that I forget that fun is just as important.   I lose me in all the hub of life in having my child(ren).

give me strength.  give me freedom.  give me hope.  give me faith.  give me light. give me support.  give me challenges, but remember that I am human and although I will push it til I can’t go any more sooner or later I will fall please catch me and hold me will i push you away.  

I want to do it right.  I want to do it well.  I want to be the best I can be for three sets of blues.  I want them to see love, light, happiness and joy radiating through their lives. for as long as I am in it.

Protected: shattered mirrors

Posted in 1 on September 27, 2008 by fatesawfit

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Protected: Worth what I give up

Posted in 1 on September 23, 2008 by fatesawfit

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